So I recently came to a pretty substantial realization about myself. I cosplay in order to show my love for a character or series. I cosplay to bring them to life and meet others that share my passion. I always thought that those were the reasons I did this hobby. But I came to the realization that sometimes cosplay is important for a person’s emotional state.
I came out of a relationship last May that left me in a very self-image-damaged state. My ex was very shallow and made me feel ugly and overweight, which heavily damaged my self-image and made me shy away from skin-bearing costumes. I never wanted to cosplay girls that showed their midriff or upper thighs because I didn’t want to look even uglier to him or make him feel embarrassed to be with me. So I stuck to costumes that made me feel more comfortable and ones that somewhat complimented him, while still being from series I was passionate about.
Following the breakup, I lost about 30 lbs due to depression and an unbalanced emotional state I was in. However, while being single, guys would come to me and tell me about how pretty I was, which I shrugged off. I felt ugly and fat. But I started to talking to a guy that made me feel absolutely beautiful. He would always tell me how pretty I was and perfect I looked. This made me feel much better, though my self-confidence was still low.
Dragon*Con came around and I debuted a costume I NEVER thought I would have the guts to wear. But I love Star Wars: the Old Republic, and I wanted to show my love for the game. So I did my first costume with body paint (full body paint, even!) and skimpy armor. Did I want attention? Absolutely not. But I didn’t have time to make the armor set I wanted, so I sucked it up. I wanted a new costume and this was what I decided on.
Was I terrified? Absolutely, but I put it on anyway. 3 hours of self-applied makeup (and help from a friend for my back!) later, I went to the con floor and hung out with friends. I had a few photos here and there, but was mostly happy that I got to do so many new things. I found myself covering my stomach here and there because of how naked I felt, but was still happy to be representing SWTOR. My friends would come up to me and compliment me on the weight loss I had achieved, which was really comforting. I had noticed the change a bit, but apparently not as drastic as others thought. I felt better about myself after Dragon*Con and felt more comfortable about showing a bit more skin in costume.
But the big realization was why I really did the costume. I came to the realization that this costume was a celebration of me. Of my progress with weight loss (despite the means at the time) and my increase of self-worth. This costume was proof that I could overcome a fear and was also a celebration of becoming comfortable in my own skin for the first time since I was 16 (I’m 22 now). This was me sticking it to the man and reassuring myself that I can do anything, regardless of what others think, for my love of a character. Of course I get the “she’s fat” and “pig disgusting” comments on the internet, but you know what? I celebrated me. I did this for me and for my self-confidence, not for others.
So my point is that you should NEVER believe the negative things said about you. You are gorgeous. You’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone bring you down for any reason. Celebrate you and your passion by doing what you love.
Express yourself. Love yourself.
Thanks so much! That costume was a lot of fun to wear and make! I love Archer too and can’t wait to see the new episode tonight! I’m keeping my eyes open for my next Archer costume too! :D
Finally more photos of me together with my sister kitty, Yashuntafun! I love the laguz, taguel, mamkute, and all the races from the Fire Emblem series. I’m so happy I finally got more photos with Yashuntafun, I adore these costumes and I hope one day we get to do something else fun and cute together!
Photos by BentPic5 at MomoCon 2013
Now, excuse me, whilst I go and marry off more couples in Awakening…
IdolM@ster fruits group from Katsucon 2013!
- Chihaya/Grapes: Kairi G
- Yukiho/Cherry: Rynn
- Iori/Peach: Dandelionswish
- Makoto/Pineapple: Starlighthoney
- Haruka/Strawberry: BATCosplay
- Mami/Banana: Sumikins
- Hibiki/Kiwi: Yashuntafun
- Miki/Melon: Melfina
- Takane/Apple: Katie
Satan/Wrath from Umineko no Naku Koro ni
Top photo taken by Eurobeat King, bottom left by LJinto, and bottom right by Bentpic5
I am greatly anticipating the return of Archer on January 17th! I’ll also be keeping my eye out for my next cosplay because Archer cosplay is the best!
On the left is Krieger’s Virtual Girlfriend with photography by LJinto. On the right is Cheryl Tunt in her Queen of Mars outfit from Season 3!
This is the best! I love everything down to the inscription on the belt! Speaking of which, who all is excited for The Hobbit in a couple of weeks?